You know when you're doing something, and you're really excited about it, and you think it's working okay but you take a step back from it and look at it and it's just not quite right?
That's how I'm feeling about this blog.
Something's off. Something's rubbing me the wrong way. Something about it just... doesn't feel like me.
I think I'm still emulating too much. I think I need to re-assess my shit.
Like there! I said "shit!" On my blog! I've been trying to keep from using profanity, but god damnit, I swear like a fucking sailor and there are no impressionable youth reading this. Shitfuckdickballs.
Maybe I'm just bored. Maybe I'm tired of trying so hard.
So I'm just not going to try so hard. No more stressing over scheduling posts, no more censorship, no more trying to fit into any blogging "niche" that just doesn't fit.
I'll blog when I want to blog, and my topics will be my own, and it'll be less for you and more for me. A massive readership is not a priority.
It's more than just Discovery Channel's Shark Week, ifyaknowwhatImean. And I'm fed up! And undercaffeinated! And completely uninspired by my own little self-made corner of the internet, which is dumb!
And most of all, I'm human. So if I haven't scared you off, expect some changes while I shift around through these awkward, uncomfortable blog growing pains.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled blogramming.
( ... ಠ_ಠ )
I feel you babe. I had a conversation with my friends about this the other day. That my blog didn't feel like me that that with the exception of a few awesome readers, I am preaching to the wrong crowd.
ReplyDeleteI used to be a video game writer, a cohost for a videogame podcast. I wrote about nerdy things. geeky things. gamer things. And I loved every minute of it.
I too am trying something new next week. I've already scheduled my posts and if no one posts, fine. I'd rather be myself and have few comments than post something not me to keep up an audience.
Afterall, I originally started my blog as a place to vent my frustrations, share my ideas and be my creative weird self. Not such a bad thing really.
<3 And I'll still read your blog whatever you do. SHITCUNTBALLS! <3
First of all: I <3 you. You're my favorite.
DeleteSecond of all, I'm so excited to see what you've got on the agenda! I won't lie, it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way... it's unnerving, reading my own blog and not feeling like it's a proper representation of myself. I'm fucking weird, I not only laugh at but make plenty of my own dick and fart jokes, I play Dungeons and Dragons and I would rather stay at home and watch NYPD Blue than go out and try that new, hip Burmese restaurant in downtown San Francisco and drink all the different IPAs.
I'm going to clean out my feed reader big-time, so I can stop getting distracted by what everyone else seems to be doing. Yours is staying because you're my blogging bestie, obviously. ;)
High five Jeremy and the both of you pretend that it's actually me delivering the high fives to both of you! And yay for fresh starts (and free usage of profanity)! <3
Looking forward to it.
ReplyDeleteYou're goodlookin'.
DeleteYay! I totally look forward to reading what you want to write. And keep up the profanity. I'm all about it.
ReplyDeleteI have gone through that phase too. It's unsettling and uncomfy to look at something that's supposed to represent you and really it represents everyone else.
The thing is, I don't want to read the same blog over and over again. I chose to read people's blogs because they're different. That's why I like you, my friend.
Bring on the true Kayla!
:) Thanks! Yeah, when my little sister told me she reads my blog to learn more about me (I'm about 900 miles away from her), and I thought about what I write here, I wasn't sure she was getting the complete, or even close to the right, picture of me... and that was definitely unsettling.
DeleteOne of my tasks for the day is to clean out my feed reader. Too many blogs pulling me every which way to "try this to be a successful blogger" or "sponsor me, I get like 5000 subscribers a month" and it just feels *wrong* for me.
I'm excited to see what happens! I've got no set plans other than "no more fluff." And I'm glad to have you along. <3
Fuck yeah! Excited about this! I'm trying to get my blog back to that "feels like me" place too!
ReplyDeleteI'm also excited! Nervous a little, being as - like I told Nioole up there - I don't have anything figured out for where I'm going other than "no more fluff!" Despite having no real concrete plans, I'm still super pumped. I don't know what's coming, but whatever it is, whether it's awesome or awful or somewhere in that grey middle, it'll be more me, and that's the most important thing.
DeleteAnd when it comes to your blog and your attempt to get it back to feeling more like you, I'm totally along for the ride! I'm excited to see what direction you go... and I hope I'm not wrong in crossing my fingers for a few more silly "What I Wore: Pajamas!"-esque posts in there, because I was thoroughly amused by that one. Your sarcasm is delightful. :)
Shit, do what is right for YOU. Fuck everyone else.
ReplyDelete