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It's not my birthday yet, don't let the title confuse you. It's actually not until the 27th, next Thursday, so you still have a little under a week to stockpile and shower me with the most lavish of gifts. You're all gonna do that, right? ... right? (This is where I'd stick in one of those sparkly glitter graphic texts saying "J/K LOL *<|8-D" but I don't feel like boggling down this computer with fifty trojan horse viruses and a plethora of spyware today.)
Sigh. All joking aside... prepare for some introspection!
Next week I turn a quarter-century old. The big ol' two-five. Every birthday I've had since I turned 20 gave me this massive feeling of "I need to get my shit together. What am I doing? Where am I going?" And luckily, as far as I can tell, this year is the first year where I'm really not having that problem. I feel like I am right where I need to be, and all of my "shortcomings" don't really feel like shortcomings. Opportunities I used to resent having never been presented with no longer bring me down. I am happy, and I am content, and I am where I am supposed to be.
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I am alive, and I keep waking up in the mornings to the face of my best friend and my cute butthead of a cat and a brand new beautiful bay area day and damnit I'm so lucky.
I'll be starting up Project365 for my 25th year; it's been too long and I want to document and even if I don't finish (but I will! I will!) it is better than nothing; it's something. I want to remember this feeling: feeling right, feeling in place. I want to remember this. It's so awesome.
I've had this song stuck in my head, thought it might be fitting:
Have a great Sunday, y'all!
Yay for for feeling like you're in the right place at the right time, doing exactly what you're supposed to be. I love those days and weeks and months and years. It's just so comforting, yet unsettling. Unsettling because it makes you realize how out of place you used to feel.
ReplyDeleteHere's to an awesome 25th year, my friend. I think it's going to rock. You know what would ensure it was totally amazing? A trip to Canada. Say, some place like Jasper, maybe!?!?
Yeah, it's definitely bizarre when I think back on all those times I felt so much like the odd man out, like I didn't belong. California never really felt like "home" much until a year or two ago, so I was always walking around with this weird level of discomfort. It's so nice to feel 'right' for once.
DeleteI'm with you, 25 is gonna rock! I definitely have an across-the-northern-border trip on my "I totally have to do this" list, don't you worry! (And if you know of a good Canadian real estate website, like Zillow but for Canada, let me know. Seriously.)
WE ARE BIRTHDAY TWINS! :DD Also, so happy that you're happy and feeling that things have fallen into place! I'm still bogged down with the "what am I doing O.o" feeling, but here's to another birthday and hopefully working these things out.
ReplyDelete:O BIRTHDAY BUDDIEEEES! That's so awesome! I'm sure you'll find your solace in no time. It's a wonderful feeling; somewhere down the line I just stopped trying to force it and it snuck up on me on it's own accord, and it was such a neat realization! I sincerely hope you feel the same way soon. <3
Deletecan't wait to se your 365 - i did one when i was 20/21 and 22/23 - they are interesting but also a pain in the ass! i don't think i can do one again
ReplyDelete<3 katherine
of corgis and cocktails // current giveaway
Aw, thanks! Yeah, they definitely take a certain discipline that I'm not entirely sure I have myself, but damned if I'm not gonna try! ;)
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